Don't judge a book by its cover they say, but on the whole I must confess I've never really agreed. If a book has a shitty cover, it's probably a shitty book, has been my experience. However...

This gay guy comes into the gym yesterday, one of the regulars, and stands around looking agitated in that queer melodramatic kinda way: long sighs, indifferent tossing of the head, shifting his weight on his hips every ten seconds with his arms folded. Tall, skinny, not exactly built. Kinda gangly actually. And the clothes... I mean, my gym is pretty gay, but this guy was gay, even by those standards. Head to foot in white sweats, matching white ball cap twisted off to one side, sweatpants rolled up to the knees, kinda of like a big fruity Dennis the Menace. His gym bag was a Louis Vuitton. The Girl has always maintained that if you see someone with a LV (or YSL, or Prada) bag, either it's fake and you're a poseur, or it was $700 and you're an idiot. Either way you probably shouldn't bring it to the gym.

So I'm sitting nearby squeezing tri extensions overhead and watching this guy out of the corner of my eye as gets more flustered with each passing minute, and it turns out he's waiting for the guy next to me to finish up and get off the bench. Not that there aren't a half dozen other benches, but apparently he likes this one and no other will do. Sure, I smirk to myself. Gotta have your favourite bench. And finally the guy gets done and clears out and our gay friend moves in, and then it all becomes shockingly clear. He needs this bench because of its proximity to the heavy end of the weight rack. He starts pushing 80-pound dumbbells.

Hold on. 80 pounds? That tall skinny fucker? Eighty?

That's damn right. He went from caricature to hardcore in one set. I was well impressed.

This ain't no 'roid gym here you know. We're mostly all normal guys pushing weights. Folks don't generally pick up eighty pounds in each hand and push them for a warm-up. That's a lot of weight, and it didn't stop there. 85. 90. The rack only goes up to a hundred. I've seen guys bigger than that sweating it out with 45s. I can hardly lift those 80s off the rack.

There's probably a lesson in there somewhere, can't judge a gay gym bunny by his Louis Vuitton or some such, but I'm trying not to learn it. I don't like having my preconceptions challenged by people with designer gym gear.

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