I tried shamelessly to have my snowboard stolen after our last day up at Sunshine Village - I'm long overdue for a gear upgrade - but it just didn't happen. I left it unlocked in the middle of every quad outside every cafe at every opportunity. I left it standing against the wall of the chalet all night, willing some bozo to snigger untowardly to himself as he made off with it in the dead of night. But the truth is, no one wants my piece of shit hardware. It's five years old, it's the board I learnt on and it's thoroughly trashed. There's a hairline split which has been repaired at some point down the length of it, and yesterday I noticed a six-inch groove had been carved out of the underside by some unfortunately-placed piece of mountain stone. The out-gouged plastic hangs off one end of the groove like a spiralling piece of cheese. It makes me look wicked hardcore, but that's complete bullshit - I just drive it over a lot of rock. Also, snowboard graphics have evolved a lot lately, and my mine's a long way behind the cosmetic curve. Nobody wants it, not even for free.
I guess I'm stuck with it till next season.
Tonight is the last night in Banff. Love it here, it's been a good time, in fact a great time. Lots of restaurants, beer, inches and inches of powder to carve up and quality family time, long overdue. Awesome! We fly out of Calgary tomorrow for Vancouver, armed with a handful of presents for The Girl, who stayed at home and worked while graciously allowing me a ten-day snowboarding vacation in the Canadian Rockies without a single complaint. She is fantastic and deserves presents and sex.
This also happened: while we were all hanging around town this afternoon picking up a few stray souvenirs, my sister oddly and abruptly disappeared. We found her outside giggling like a ten-year-old. She'd let loose a ripping great fart in the mall and escaped the scene by slipping away while no one noticed. Well, not exactly no-one - some young guy with a baby in a stroller noticed. He sniffed the air a couple times, looked around suspiciously and then checked his baby's diapers for evidence. We just about wet ourselves laughing when we figured out what had just happened. That has nothing to do with anything, but I bet it made you smile.
We're a classy bunch, we are.
All rights reserved. Watch yourself.
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